When I look into this feeling, I think a lot of it stems from the innate desire for social acceptance we have as humans (and bunnies too… I also feel this way!) Everyone wants to be loved and accepted by their peers, regardless of if the face they show is their own or by creation.
However, I think that putting that mask on only creates more problems. If it results in positive social interactions, you reinforce that belief that people will only like you if you become the type of person that they think is desirable. Eventually this affects your self esteem, confidence, and mental health. If this persona you created is the only face you show, then how are you to know if someone actually likes you for you, or the guise you have created; all things that worked against who I felt I was, or wanted to put across. I know that this is quite a common occurrence in Japan, and so I somewhat used to feel guilty that I didn’t fit in to this thought process. I think a lot of this stems from not having the tools to define or understand yourself ౨ΰ§
It has taken a lot of courage to come to terms with the fact that I am not comfortable with these types of relationships- and I think it's still something I'm working on, as it is quite difficult to change a thought process you’ve had for so long. Especially when it involves distancing yourself from friendships that might not be best for you, I think that takes a lot of strength to simply say ‘no’ and recognise that not everyone is going to be a good match for you. It also is important to try and be honest with yourself about the positives from who you spend your time with. Are you surrounding yourself with people who purposefully try to put you down, don’t value your time and/or drain your social battery? Or, do you leave those social interactions looking forward to seeing that person again, feeling in a good spirits and happy you’ve met someone with so many similar interests and hobbies as you ? I am extremely lucky in my current life, to say that my feeling is the latter. I don’t feel that I have to tone myself down to be able to have fun with my friends, or portray myself as a one dimensional person, as I perhaps did a year ago ⭑
So, what does this have to do with social media ? ⋆π₊˚⊹♡ I often hear from my peers who aren't avid social media users that there is a common belief that social media is fake. While in many circumstances, this is true (after all, we all show our best front on social media, often leaving out the negative parts of our life!) I personally find that social media is a useful tool for self expression. Whether it’s through clothes, makeup, music, captions or editing, there are so many different ways to create your own little world that perfectly represents who you are and what you love. I can understand that this desire to show a rose tinted world could also be seen as fake or one dimensional as I mentioned earlier. And, I wouldn’t disagree with someone for thinking that; after all, I don’t have angel wings in real life (disappointing, I know!) or perfect skin, or a perfect life, even. But, I can share what makes the world beautiful and vibrant, in my eyes. I really like to explain it with the idea of a cute world view (γγγγδΈη観); I want to try and explain what I love most and what I believe is the cutest things in my mind. Is it a form of escapism? Absolutely! But I don’t believe escapism is inherently bad. What matters is what you are escaping from, and where you want to escape to. Are you finding comfort and happiness in that online space? For me, I feel Instagram is my place to be creative, socialise and use my platform to try and create content that other like minded people enjoy, and I look forward each day to chatting, sharing content and interacting with others.
I'm also extremely grateful to have been able to fund my hobbies through instagram's bonus scheme, collaborations with brands and having a separate job that allows me freedom to share my hobbies on the side. The only way that I was able to get to that point, was to stop caring about what others thought of me, or how certain people would react to me being ‘cringey’. Ironically, being my authentic self has made me more successful in this sense. However, I don’t think that personal gain should be the only measure of how much you enjoy social media. Whilst that might sound quite hypocritical coming from a content creator, I still want to emphasise that happiness should be the key to success, not the other way around. You are a lot more likely to succeed if you approach your accounts with the thought process of “what would I like to see?” instead of “what would get me the most likes, comments, etc”. I also believe that the energy you put out into the world, is the energy you are likely to receive back. If you want to enjoy social media and flourish on the internet, you have to put out positive energy π⨾π’ִ໋π§ྀི
To summarise, there are many interpretations of what makes something, or someone, ‘real’ or authentic. My definition may be different from yours, and that’s totally fine! But, my main message I want to share, is that you should try to hold yourself to your own personal standard of authenticity, and create what truly makes you happy. It is so hard to go against the grain, but you are much more likely to achieve a happier outcome than if you were to put yourself into a box of what you think others would prefer. You will never be truly happy if you chase social approval, but you can be happiest if you create your own world that you love α―α‘£π©
α‘£π©ྀིྀི Evie xox α‘£π©ྀིྀི
